"The Yellow Wallpaper" is a story written by Charlotte Perkins Gilman which is open to discussion and makes the reader think critically about relationships. Are relationships a bliss of solidarity or are they just an impediment for individuals? Do relationships offer individuals freedom or do they dreadfully restrict life for individuals and hinder their potential? The answer to these questions definitely depends on whether your relationship is healthy or not. In "The Yellow Wallpaper" John, the husband, symbolizes an oppressive husband figure, and through John the overall burden of toxic relationships on individuals' shoulders is disclosed.
First of all, John is portrayed as a husband who tries to control everything on behalf of his wife rather than supporting. In toxic relationships, oppressive individuals want to control everything in the name of their loved ones. For example, John decides to move to another house with his wife and doesn't ask if she feels good about the new home: "You know, the place is doing you good" (25). Here we see that his partner's preferences and desires are not important to him. The spouse is not seen and heard by John; shee is so silenced that she does not even speak to express his needs. Furthermore, in "The Yellow Wallpaper", this can be seen in the manner of John who orders his wife what to do as if his wife is like a kid. The husband calls her wife little girl. John When his wife gets up, John asks "What is it, little girl? Do not go walking about like that, you will get cold." (29) Here, the humiliating attitudes of husband shows that he regards her wife as a kid. In many toxic relationships, women seen as vulnerable, pitiful, fragile little girls and men take responsibility to control them (Of course, a man may encounter such a situation, I am speaking on the basis of the majority. It is obvious that women mostly suffer this treatment). Furthermore, Not only do they degrade human potential, but they also control it.
In "The Yellow Wallpaper," John exemplifies humiliating partners in toxic relationships by displaying belittling attitudes rather than supporting his wife. For example, in the story, the spouse says, “John is coming and I have to put this aside, he hates me writing a word.” (24) This means, she wants to write something, but reliefs her, nonetheless, she cannot do that because in such a toxic relationship the potential of her is underestimated and controlled. Lots of talents are lost in the hands of such relationships because such controlling and condescending partners prevent the ability to improve. This means that it is better for a toxic partner that you are weak, and unsuccessful so that you will might not be strong enough to leave them, in any time, in any place. However, it's just an illusion! In short, the story reveals the burden on the individual's shoulders of toxic relationships.
Finally, through this story, we see that in toxic relationships, the victim's emotions are exploited by the toxic partner. A toxic partner generates an element of pressure by making them feel in need of their victim. There is an emotional abuse. In "The Yellow Wallpaper" the wife thinks that she is all her husband had. "He said I was his darling, and his comfort and all he had, and that I must take care of myself for his sake, and keep well." This means, the victim in this story is also doing something for her husband not willingly, but with guilt pressure which is a result of emotional abuse. In other words, toxic partners are accusatory towards their victims and make their victims feel they cannot live without them. We all have a potential to reach. In toxic relationships, the emotions of victim are exploited by the toxic partner. The reality is that everyone can live without the other; and everyone has the ability to live without the other. We were living when we did not know them; and we can still continue existing after them. Also, many individuals like the wife ignore the fact that they are supposed to be more than being a someone's partner in this world. Every individual has a family and friends to love, desires to crave for, dreams to follow, and personal problems to solve. Briefly, John symbolizes the oppressive husband figure throughout the story, and its degrading effects are exposed with her madness in the end of story.
In conclusion, Charlotte Gilman opens relationships which include toxic partners and hazardous effects coming from the toxic relationships to a discussion in “The Yellow Wallpaper". When we love someone, it sometimes takes time for us to understand whether our relationship with them is toxic. Yet, we don't want a relationship that poisons us, do we? Also, it is important to reflect on whether toxic people are us or not in a relationship. We always have the opportunity and capacity to work on ourselves and improve. We would not like to poison someone with our toxicity in a relationship either. In my opinion, a relationship, whether romantic is not, should not enslave us and not impoverish our self-expression and potential. Rather, our relationships should fulfill us and make us feel stronger, not weaker.
References:
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, “The Yellow Wallpaper” AE111 Coursepack, edited by Melis Günekan, Fall 2018